My way or your way? (Or how to strike a balance when dealing with clients)

The other day, I received a long email from someone who has assisted me in an urgent project this year and a thought-provoking question was in the email: “To what extent do you push for your ideas and when do you give way to client’s wishes (even if you genuinely believe your idea is better and would be more beneficial to their bottomlines)?

It seemed a very simple question but the longer one ponders on it, the more complex it somehow becomes. And so I briefly replied along this line: “Interesting topic. A quick answer is that the priority is still the client’s wishes, his comfort zone, and his realities.” I then realized that the question deserves a longer reply so I decided that this can actually be a good topic in my next blog. 🙂

Before I expound on this question, let me first qualify that my tips/insights below apply only to circumstances when one’s core values and beliefs are not going to be compromised (that is, the situation should not call for pleasing a client by committing a crime or even a professional faux pas in the process!). Therefore, this post refers only to situations that do not involve the commission of a crime, breach of contract, and other similar consequences.

Some principles /insights here are based on real-life experiences but I won’t be mentioning names of persons or institutions, for privacy’s sake. There is no intention to pass any judgement against any person/organization but it is indeed true that experience is the best teacher so it is hoped that these experiences will help you, dear readers, in dealing with situations when you are torn apart between wanting to please your client 100% and pushing for your ideas.

My way or your way? [Image Anna Suarin, with due permission from the 2 ‘spotted’ models.]

The following may be considered as good take-off points or pieces of advice:

1. The customer is always right. This may sound used and abused but always remember, when faced with a blank wall, that you exist because of your customer (client). Fortunately, I trained in DMAIC (Define, Measure, Analyze, Improve and Control) Methodology, an approach to problem-solving and considered in the corporate world as part of the Six Sigma management philosophy. Through DMAIC principles, I had a deeper understanding of how to connect the client’s wants and needs to my existence as part of a corporation or even as an independent professional. I will not bore you with the details of how my training went but suffice to say, there really is a ‘methodical’ way of appreciating why clients behave that way and why you, as a supplier or service provider, should go the extra mile to do what your clients want (within respectable and healthy boundaries).

2. Know your bottomlines but always refer to point No. 1 above. You can always have your own ‘bottomlines’ or that specific points when you really must say “no” already. This means that you may always bend to the wishes of your client but if such acquiescence means that the final project/output will already have significant impact on your career and long-term goals, then by all means, say a respectful but firm “no”. For example, if a valued client requests you to finish the layout and design of a book with a very short lead time–a time frame that makes it physically impossible to deliver a brilliant design–you can respectfully but firmly reject the project. After all, it will be your reputation and portfolio at stake there.

However, there will always be those rare instances when you simply cannot refuse, right? I had been in those situations and they were really difficult times. Should this ever happen to you, you can consider taking the following course of actions: (i) Accept the project but propose changes in the terms of reference so that the tasks may be adjusted based on the time frame given (e.g.,  if it is no longer possible to develop 3 cover studies, then strike an agreement where you will only propose 1 or 2 studies; (ii) consult a lawyer to help you develop a contract where there will be enough protective clauses for you (e.g., your contract should stipulate that the client should give their comments within a specific period only and anything sent beyond that will already impact the project calendar and, therefore, you should not be made liable for the consequent project delay); (iii) agree on fair/realistic quality standards and ensure that your client will not feel shortchanged (e.g., while it may be impossible to develop highly-complicated graphic works, you and your client should agree on minimal use of info-graphics and nice but simple design tweaking); and (iv) request your client to allow you to sub-contract some of the tasks involved so that you can deliver on time with the agreed quality parameters.

3. Listen. Have a more open mind. These two ‘epic statements’ sound simple, right? However, they are easier said than done. [Again, there is no judgement here; there’s a need to accept the realities of life.] We may have met consultants, artists, and graphic designers who are so brilliant but seem to lack or fail in the emotional quotient (EQ) department. In the same way, we may have worked with young and upcoming specialists and professionals who may still be ‘learning the ropes’ but whose work ethics, patience, diligence, and commitment are exemplary. These are preferred by clients. We don’t need a very brilliant artist but who doesn’t listen. We would always prefer someone who does a great job (even if it’s not so perfect) AND really listens, appreciates our business, and open to other ideas. Simply put, intelligence, brilliance, and talent should be accompanied with the right attitude. No wonder EQ is essential in ascertaining whether a person is perfect for the job. 🙂 You might ask, “How will these two statements help me when I want to push for my ideas because I know I am REALLY right and that my ideas will ultimately support the goals of my client?” The answer is simple: You can allow your client to appreciate that your idea does not really significantly oppose his idea (not always applicable but you get the drift) just by simply listening and having an open mind. Look at other angles and you will perhaps both realize that your ideas do not exactly oppose one another’s. And in the worse case scenario, there might be a workable compromise position somewhere. The key is to genuinely assure your client that his ideas are important and useful in the bigger picture.

4. Always remember, your client is smart (and so are you). For no. 4, this applies to the other side of the fence: when you are the client and you are dealing with a supplier /consultant, e.g., an IT specialist. In the real world, there are designers and IT specialists who may have missed GMRC courses. See this article, for example, Understanding the arrogance of computer people (https://pvtimes.com/opinion/dennis-myers-understanding-the-arrogance-of-computer-people-72434/). (With all due respect, there is no judgement here but it’s critical to cite real-life examples). They are the ones who will bluntly announce, “Oh, I cannot do that because…(and then give long explanations with technical jargons and IT what-nots so you will feel totally clueless) when you simply needed a user-friendly template. There is a common joke circulating around that we must never have IT administrators as enemies because they hold the passwords to our private emails and, painfully, they can easily cause the demise of our careers (or reputation?). It seems a harmless joke, right? But the reality is that some IT and graphic design professionals (thankfully, they are not in the majority) have been over-stepping the boundaries. Some have become the untouchables. You cannot mess with them. You cannot argue with them. They have their own language, which you cannot penetrate. They make fun of lesser morals who have only basic understanding of IT and design jargons. What can we do in such a situation?

Just be firm and respectfully discuss the bottomlines. For the suppliers (such as IT specialists): Respect matters a lot. Clients may have lesser gigabyte of IT knowledge but their basic understanding of IT and design what-have-you’s may mean that they have humongous understanding and ownership of the other important matters in life–including the business that they will give you. Never assume anything. Never assume that the client doesn’t know anything about your line of work. Never assume that they are clueless. Thread carefully and if all else fails, perhaps an invitation for a chat over coffee might help! Meanwhile, Mosher (2024) also recommends that, “Nerds can learn social skills by approaching them with the same intellectual rigor they bring to calculus.” [This section had been updated in 2024 to provide references.]

5. Good track record matters. Build a solid track record with your client and this makes the work (and future negotiations) a lot easier. It is alright to push for your ideas particularly if they are really brilliant. However, remember that it takes time for a client to trust you enough. It is the same with relationships. Don’t expect people to trust you instantly just because you have a very good track record. Relationships take time to build. It is the same way with clients. They tend to listen more to people whom they already worked with over the long haul. Therefore, if someone or a corporation is your first-time client, be careful with your ideas. Try to hold your horses at first. Get a feel of how they interact with you, take note of their corporate culture (and even their body languages!), and eventually, you will know when is the perfect time to propose your ideas. (See no. 9 below also.)

6. Appreciation. We had been taught the power of appreciation by our parents. We had been told to say “Thank you” when someone helps us, gives us a gift, or utters a compliment. But no one really told us how to say “Thank you” if someone acts like a brat or refuses to listen. Someone has forgotten to say that the workplace is in another dimension. Planet Mars, maybe? The thing is, it is difficult or downright impossible to say “Thank you” if you are offended or disrespected. However, if the going gets tough and you are faced with a client who doesn’t seem to want to listen to your ideas, count 1 to 10 and say an inner “Thank you”. Thank the heavens above because you have this client and the job. Thank the universe because this difficult moment in your life makes you a better and more patient person. Thank the stars because you have this opportunity to practice yoga (read: the art of detachment). Finally, if it becomes unbearable and there is already a form of bullying or microaggression, just leave peacefully with your heart and head intact. (But first, consult a legal counsel so you can both review your contract.)

7. Remember the rule of karma and the saying, ‘walls have ears’. Every action that we do will become part of our history. There is no way that we can delete the past so we must always strive hard to think of the consequences of our action or statement. If we made a client very happy today, it may eventually lead to more opportunities in the future (and not necessarily with the same client). A satisfied client will always speak nicely of you and such a reputation is very important in the market. If you are faced with that moment when you really must be frank with a client and insist on your ideas, then weigh the benefits versus the risks. Will insisting on your point ruin or negatively impact your relationship with your client? If the answer is yes, then don’t hold your horses and simply do what the client wants or wait for the right time to re-negotiate.

8. Patience is the best virtue. I always liked this saying,“Good things come to those who wait.” This is can be applied when faced with the dilemma of finding a way to push for your ideas without offending your client. Learn to be patient. This is particularly challenging especially if the deadline is tight or the situation is just too stressful. One can give up an opportunity for a good reason (see my earlier notes about not compromising our values and principles in life). Always prioritize your wellness. This means becoming very patient and accommodating but also, protecting your boundaries. Have a better appreciation of the demands of our clients. I guess it takes many years of practice and experience to develop patience while still embodying courage. I think no one can really be completely patient (every one will always have that point of “no go”) so let us also try to accept our humanity. The key, I think, is having enough self-restraint and magnanimity without having to compromise our core values.

9.Timing is everything. We may have encountered people who seem so close-minded at first but who eventually open their minds up if only they are allowed enough space and time to think about your ideas or proposals. There is that thing about finding the perfect timing. Don’t talk to a client who just had lost a bid or even endured two or three hours in traffic. In the negotiation table, your client will always have the upper hand. Therefore, you have better chances of ‘winning’ if you lay out your game plan at the perfect time. Pray, consult a feng shui expert, or do a ritual dance  if you must!

10. It’s a free world. At the end of the day, you are answerable to your own self. Stick to your guts. If you are comfortable in your own skin and have a positive outlook of how the world and businesses operate, you will find it easier to strike a balance between what you think is right and what the client wants. Bend if you must. Be like a strong bamboo that sways with the winds. However, never lose yourself just because you need the opportunity. Develop an inner compass and that will surely help you make those critical decisions in such challenging phases in your career, and even life in general. It’s a free world. You have the right to make your own decisions, cognizant of the goals of your clients and the rights and welfare of people around you.

Let me end this post by sharing with you a picture of Nobuko, one of the dolls in the Kimmidoll series. She reminds us to ‘live what we believe.’

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References

Mosher, R. (2024, Nov 15). Why Are Computer Geeks So Lacking In Social Skills?. https://storychanges.com/why-are-computer-geeks-so-lacking-in-social-skills.html

Myers, D. (2019, Jul 10). Understanding the arrogance of computer people. https://pvtimes.com/opinion/dennis-myers-understanding-the-arrogance-of-computer-people-72434/

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